The goal of psychotherapy is to improve
mental health. Treatment is based on
recommendations resulting from
evaluating the particular problems you
are experiencing. There are many
different psychotherapy methods which
may be used to deal with the problems
that you hope to address. Psychotherapy
is not like a medical doctor visit. It
requires active effort on your part. In
order for the therapy to be successful,
you will need to work on things we
discuss both during and outside of
sessions. Since psychotherapy often
involves discussing unpleasant aspects
of your life, you may experience
uncomfortable emotions. However, the
work has many benefits. Psychotherapy
can lead to better relationships,
provide solutions to problems and
significantly reduce distress.
During the first several sessions, while
we are working we will both be
conducting a mutual evaluation of your
problem. After this period, we will
discuss the evaluation and your comfort
level and agreement with the treatment
plan. As part of the evaluation, the
possible need to be seen by other
professionals will be considered.
The duration of treatment, method, and
techniques used to help you will vary
with the problems and issues you bring
in as well as your stated desires and
needs. You will be asked about these
things and a treatment plan will be
developed based on your input.
Evaluation
An evaluation of your difficulties is
always done in the first session. In
some cases, it may take several
sessions, as described in the
Psychotherapy section.
Evaluations using psychological testing
may also be done by your request or
because it is the best way to assess
your situation. These may include
intellectual and emotional testing. If
you have an academic, work, or medical
need, a report of this testing can be
sent to other professionals. These
reports are individually written to
protect your privacy and to provide only
the information that is needed to other
people.
Sometimes physical problems can
masquerade as psychological
difficulties. If there is any sense this
might be the case, it will be
recommended to you that you make an
appointment with a physician,
neuropsychologist or other medical
professional.
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Adults
It is easy in today's world to become
stressed, anxious and even
depressed. Coping strategies that have
always worked in the past can fail you,
or new challenges can occur that don't
have obvious answers. Whether you wish
to change something about yourself, work
on emotional issues that are recent or
long term, learn new strategies,
perspectives or skills; consulting with
a psychologist is a helpful way to
begin.
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College
Students
The anxiety of succeeding in college,
living on your own, taking on greater
responsibilities, socializing and
setting life goals can be
overwhelming. At times, students are
only aware that they are unhappy,
confused or depressed. Having someone to
help you sort through the confusion and
find confidence in yourself and your own
direction can be very helpful.
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Young Adults
The first years of adulthood present
many challenges. You can't always
anticipate the problems. Unexpected
things can happen. Life may feel
overwhelming as you try to navigate the
first years of work and independent
living. Parents give advice and support,
but sometimes aren't the right people to
ask about private feelings, depression
or personal problems. A therapist can
help you, whether it is to understand
your feelings, define your goals or help
you to find the path that is right for
you.
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ADOLESCENTS
The teen years, from middle school
through high school, are a time of great
change. Although we don't often think
about it, these are the years when our
children learn to be adults. It is a
complicated time when emotions run high
and the gaps between their growing
sophistication and their inexperience
can be confusing and frustrating to both
adolescents and their
parents. Moodiness, academic problems,
or trouble getting along with peers or
adults are reasons to consult with a
psychologist.
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TODDLERS
The first two to three years of life set
the stage for the future. During these
early years, a child learns
self-regulation and the sense of safety
and stability which are the basis for
confidence and success. It is important
to know not only what is normal
developmental behavior at this age, but
how to handle behaviors so that they do
not become future problems.
Toddlers who are in stressful situations
or experience trauma will react with
emotional and behavioral changes. Some
will adapt after a short period of
time. If your toddler doesn't, child
therapy can help them to move beyond
those events and be a happy youngster
again.
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PRESCHOOLERS
The years between three and five are
important for consolidating, practicing
and expanding the young child's
world. Your child should be doing more,
becoming more competent daily, and
having ever greater understanding of his
world. The issues which might bring you
and your preschool child to a child
psychologist are the same as those for a
toddler (SEE TODDLER).
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SCHOOL
AGE CHILDREN
By the time your child is in school,
they should be able to follow rules and
directions from adults other than their
parents, enjoy learning, have friends,
and generally be happy and content with
their lives. Unhappiness in school,
difficulties with peers or adults, or
behavior problems should trigger a call
to a child psychologist.
Children have all the emotions an adult
has, but they often lack the experience
to identify what they are feeling or how
to handle it. A child psychologist can
help both your child and yourself
understand what is going on and how to
resolve it.
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PARENTING
In any situation where a child is
encountering difficulties or a parent
has concerns, a consultation can be a
useful way to describe the problem and
find effective ways to parent. A parent
consultation can cover any concerns that
you wish to discuss.
When a child is being seen individually
by a psychologist, parents are seen as
well to help them understand what is
happening to their child and answer
questions about responding to problem
behaviors, changes that occur during the
course of treatment, or any other
parenting concern you may have.
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Parenting Group
People
have inquired about the possibility of
groups where they could discuss their
concerns about parenting and get help
with their children. In response, I am
offering small, three to four person
groups that would allow for individual
attention to each person's needs and
also let people learn from each other.
These groups will address any questions
you may have for children birth to
adult, and will meet every other week
for 75 minutes. Cost: $50/session. Times
will be available during the day, Monday
through Saturday, and at least one
evening. Your insurance may cover these
sessions. Call at 734-665-9890 or
go to
Contact Us.
Of course,
individual sessions to discuss parenting
are still available.
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FAMILIES
Sometimes, as we go through the routines
of accomplishing everyday tasks, things
go wrong between family
members. Miscommunication, frustration
and bad feelings can effect everyone in
the family. It's easy to become stuck in
ruts and be unable to see a way to
change things for the better. Family
therapy is a way to set up rules,
boundaries and workable ways to
communicate between everyone.
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COUPLES
An intimate relationship with another
adult requires ongoing effort; sometimes
minimal, sometimes much more. The
balance between giving and receiving,
understanding and being understood, is
an ongoing adjustment. Couples become
quagmired, or reach points in their
lives that are more difficult and
challenging than they had
expected. Consulting with a psychologist
can help overcome problems by offering a
new perspective and skills to maintain
and enhance your relationship.
If you find that your significant other
is not willing to come for couples
therapy, take the advice given so often
by Dear Abby and come yourself. If one
person in any group changes, it often
results in changes in the other members
of the group.
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TRAUMA
Whenever a person of any age experiences
a trauma, it effects them
dramatically. The support and comfort of
family and friends is always
helpful. However, if a person continues
to have symptoms a psychotherapist can
often help them relieve distress and
move past the event.
Dissociation is a particular kind of
reaction to trauma or abuse. The person
feels detached, removed or may even lose
time. Dr. Agresta works with people who
have experienced traumas in their lives,
as well as people who experience
dissociation.
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Common Questions About Child Therapy
What Is Child Therapy?
When adults have emotional problems or
are worried or anxious, they see a
therapist to talk about their problems
and resolve them. Children and younger
adolescent often do not have the
vocabulary to talk about their
difficulties, so they are usually seen
in a playroom where they can show their
problems to the therapist.
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When Does A Child Need Therapy?
All children exhibit troublesome
behavior once in a while. Seek help when
a child keeps doing the same thing over
a long period of time or the behavior
appears very suddenly. Generally,
consult with the pediatrician first to
make sure there isn’t a physical problem
causing the behavior.
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What Will My Child Be Allowed To Do In
Therapy?
During their session every thought and
action of the child is accepted with the
exception of hurting themselves, the
therapist or destroying property. Thus,
there is more freedom in therapy than in
other areas of your child’s life. This
acceptance allows the child to trust the
therapist enough to reveal fears and
problems that are bottled up inside.
There is no such thing as bad behavior
in therapy. Instead, the therapist uses
your child’s behavior to help them
resolve problems.
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Won’t My Child Expect That Much Freedom
Everywhere?
No. Even very young children quickly
learn that there are different rules in
different places. They know the limits
that you expect, and even though all
children test limits occasionally, they
will not expect what the therapist
allows to become the normal way of
living. If your child does happen to
test limits by saying they can do
something in therapy, simply remind them
that the rules are different at home.
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What About Home and School?
It is helpful to the therapist to know
of recent events in the child’s life,
especially those to which they have
reacted strongly. Please do not ask the
child to report these events. Asking
them “to be sure and tell their
therapist…..” may seem like punishment.
It is better if you call before the
child comes to therapy and let the
therapist know what you are seeing.
Occasionally, you may wish to
understandingly suggest “This is
something you might want to work on in
therapy.”
Sometimes it can be useful for the
therapist to speak to your child’s
teacher. The therapist will speak to
both you and your child to get your
permission before doing this. Some
parents feel that the therapist is not
trusting them to report accurately. This
is not the case. Rather, the therapist
can often gain a better understanding of
the school difficulties and help the
teacher effectively handle them in the
school setting; much like parent
sessions that you will have to discuss
progress and difficulties at home.
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Could My Child Become Worse After
Therapy?
Childhood is a time of change. As
children go through developmental
stages, some are pleasant and some are
trying. Children with problems often
become stuck in immature stages of
development. Once they begin therapy and
find relief from their problems, they
will begin to go through normal stages
of development – sometimes quite
rapidly, until they catch up to where
they should be. This means that
temporarily a child’s behavior might
appear worse. This is a sign of
progress. Be thankful for it even though
it is uncomfortable. The therapist can
discuss how to handle these times with
you and refer you to books on normal
childhood stages of development if you
have further questions.
There are other possible reasons for
behavior changes. One reason might be
that the child is struggling with some
new situation in their life. On
occasion, children come to a critical
point in therapy where they are
struggling with new ideas about
themselves. Children react differently
about accepting themselves. Some are
relieved, some excited and others ill at
ease. Some children spend time
daydreaming for a few weeks. Temporary
changed in behavior are common at this
time. Your child may have trouble
sleeping, be irritable, be giddy or find
it hard to calm down. Being patient and aware, and
giving them some space for a while will
probably help them the most at this
time. Please let the therapist know
about any rapid behavior changes.
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How Will I Know What My Child Does In
Therapy?
You won’t. Therapy is successful mainly
because the child learns to trust the
therapist never to reveal what they say
and do in therapy. Parents want to know
if they are doing something wrong and
wonder if they need to change their
approach to the child. This is generally
not determined from the session, but by
working separately with the parents.
Whether a child’s problems stem from
real or imagined sources does not need
to be determined for therapy to be
effective. Instead, sessions with
parents are suited to discussing any
parenting changes they may wish to make.
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Am I To Blame For My Child’s Problems?
Most people feel guilty if something
goes wrong in their lives, especially
with their children. One of the nice
things about child therapy is that blame
is not placed on anyone. The child
simply learns to cope with feelings and
problems. The therapist does not judge
their beginnings. If you would like to
learn new ways of handling children, the
therapist can discuss how new parenting
ideas might effect your child or offer
suggestions of things you might try.
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How Should My Child Dress For Therapy?
Your child should wear casual clothing
to therapy. Remember, there are fewer
limits, they may spill paint, sand or
water on themselves. These things are
hard for some parents to accept, but
they are a necessary part of therapy.
Try to set aside easily washable clothes
for therapy days. Most therapists try to
use water soluble play materials that
will come out in the wash or with the
help of a stain stick. Try to accept the
occasional spill calmly.
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How Do I Talk To My Child About Therapy
After Sessions?
Even though it is held in a playroom,
children are doing the hardest work in
the world – looking at oneself and at
painful feelings deep inside. While it
is appropriate for you to say “You must
be tired after working hard for an
hour”, avoid asking your child questions
about the session. It is fine if the
child volunteers to discuss what has
just happened. Some children are so
excited about discoveries they have made
about themselves that they want to share
them with you. However, everyone is
different. Some children want to be very
quiet after a session so they can keep
thinking about what just happened.
Others will go about their lives as
though the session had not occurred.
Regardless of their response after
therapy, all children plan for the next
session. Please try to cooperate if they
need time alone to think a day or two
before the next session.
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Why Does My Child Need To Come At Least
Once A Week?
Sometimes parents wonder why they can’t
just make an appointment for therapy
when their child is demonstrating
problems, and not come when he is doing
fine. Unfortunately, even though you may
see improvement or the disappearance of
the problem that brought your child to
therapy, they still need to come for
awhile to become comfortable with the
changes they have made and to work our
solutions to any unexpected feelings or
problems they may have after they
change. This is a good thing. It insures
that your child will maintain the gains
they make in therapy and teaches them to
handle future problems. The fact that
children do plan ahead for the next
visit makes it necessary that they know
that every Tuesday at 2, for example, is
their time and that they can count on
it. Changes in schedule should be made
as seldom as possible. If changes do
occur, make sure to tell your child as
soon as possible.
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How Do We Know When Our Child Is Ready
To Stop Coming?
It is clear to the therapist when the
child is no longer using the time. In
other words, when they are merely
playing with toys instead of working on
problems. There are two reasons for this
behavior. The child is either avoiding
dealing with a problem they have not
worked on before or they no longer need
to attend therapy regularly. The
therapist knows from previous sessions
if they are on the brink of new gains or
if they have come to terms with their
problems. If the child seems to have
faced and resolved their problems, then
they are ready to stop. Naturally, they
will continue to have problems. Usually
they do not need to return again after a
series of successful sessions. If they
do, it is often for a brief time.
Unfortunately, money problems sometimes
eliminate the possibility of the child
continuing in therapy for the length of
time that they need. If this is the
case, the child will be told in advance
when they will be ending. This will
often help the child rush though facing
and resolving problems. It is not ideal.
It is always better to have the
opportunity to work out the new problems
and feelings which occur with change.
However, a little therapy is still
better than none. Your child is also
told that if they feel the need to have
more sessions they should let their
parents or the therapist know, and if it
can be arranged, they can return.
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What Can I Expect After My Child Has
Completed Therapy?
If your child has attended therapy until
they have resolved their problems, you
should expect a child who is much better
adjusted. They will go though normal
developmental stages, some pleasant and
some trying. But they should be able to
cope with the problems of everyday life
without becoming withdrawn or continuing
to display the difficulties which
initially brought them to therapy. Child
therapists do not guarantee you a
beautifully behaved child. Testing
limits and striving for independence are
a normal part of growing up; and normal
is what the therapist is trying to help
your child attain.
The therapist may give your child a
small memento to remember therapy by. It
is a way for your child to remember what
he has learned and achieved. While it
may not be important for some children,
others may wish to take it places with
them or treat it specially. It is
helpful to allow your child this
specialness. After a time they will set
the toy aside as they have done others.
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If you have any questions, please call.
Most people have had little experience
with therapy. Therapy can help your
child. But the more that therapists and
parents communicate, usually the more
rapid and complete the progress.